A song for our daughter

A song for our daughter

Scraped knees gave way to
Scared hearts and 
I remember the way that
I loved you so"
When we were kids

Our greatest fear was the sun setting
Before the monkey bars gave us
Rough calluses on our palms
(we wore them like medals)
So we would have to try again
Tomorrow

When I traded pigtails for messy buns"
And colored pencils for ballpoint pens
Something changed between us
But I didn’t yet have the words to describe it

It was more of a flutter than a giggle
And more of a flapping than a flutter
But it felt more mature and evolved
And I liked that
But it scared me

As we grew so did our distance
And I regretted never staying out past sunset
With you on the playground
Because maybe if I could hand upside down on the trapeze
You would have loved me back

We sit together now in silence
Neighboring cubicles, if you could ever imagine
Plotting data points for a boss that we swore we’d 
Never listen to
Because the only people who can tell us what to do
Are God and our mothers
And Steve from accounting in Ottawa is clearly neither

One day I wonder if we’ll have one of our own
And I’d tell her
Not to be scared of the night
So long as mom is there beside her

I’d say
The stars are your friends
And the moon is your guardian angel
So you can never be alone
So long as you can look up

She’d look at me
Maybe a few years later
With eyes as wide as her wingspan on
Those same monkey bars
And say
Mommy I like a boy
And I’d tell her
Guard your heart but not too tight
Because the good ones will find a way in
But the best ones won’t find a way out

So look at me
And remember when we were kids
And we wore our bruises with pride 
And our hair smelled like nap time and woodchips
And promise me that 
You’ll never let your rough palms soften